Turbulent to Terrific

Today didn't start off so well. I was already tired when I woke up and let's say, that was the easiest of the morning. After a turbulent few hours, I came across this :

"WHAT TO DO BEFORE YOU SCREAM
Life is not perfectly calm when you have little ones around you. Sometimes they get beside themselves and begin to act out very negatively. The worse they get, the more frustrated you get until you are ready to shout and yell or spank them all! But wait a minute. Before you scream, try an alternative. There are better options to calm them down.
1. CHILDREN LOVE SURPRISES
"Children, Mommy is going to give you a surprise! I want you all to hide behind the sofa and wait. No one is allowed to look!" Then arrange a little plate for each one with perhaps cut apples, pieces of cheese, raisins, a cookie you have made, or whatever they like. Make them into the shape of a smiley face.
"Okay, children, come for your surprise!" Although it is only simple, a little surprise and a little food in their stomachs will make a huge difference.
2. CHILDREN LOVE STORIES
"Come children, let's read a story." Gather the children all around you, cuddle them up tight, and read some nursery rhymes or stories to them. I found story time never failed to calm my children. Can you guess that we had story time quite frequently throughout the day?
3. CHILDREN LOVE TO GET OUTSIDE
"Children, let's go outside for a little walk." Take them out to look at the birds, the butterflies, or any insects, lizards, or salamanders you can find. Ten to fifteen minutes outside lets them let off steam, changes their behavior, and they'll come inside with refreshed spirits.
4. CHILDREN NEED SLEEP
Sometimes when a child, or all the children, are bouncing off the walls, we forget that they may be tired and no longer know how to control themselves. Perhaps they just need a sleep!
With most of these little alternatives, you have to stop what you are doing! That's the secret. Children become more difficult to handle when you are engrossed in what you are doing. To stop and spend a little time with them makes all the difference."

Boy, did I need that! What a wonderful reminder. I would like to add a few more options then screaming...
5). Children love music. It really does " soothe the savage beast" ( and that includes me!). I put one tons and tons of christian children's music. It's a great way to get God's praises and words not only in the house, but in our hearts. We also love auto stories. 
6). Children love to bake. One morning when I was home schooling my boys and things were not going very well ( I had five at home at the time), I stopped everything and declare, " Alright, everyone, we're all done with school til tomorrow. Let's bake cookies!!" You should have heard the cheers and seen all their faces lighten up. I put some music on and we all made ( and tasted the dough ) cookies then ate some as a treat!
7). Children love games. Many times I have pulled out Candy Land or Shoots and Ladders ( With the older boys, the games got more adult) especially when they are whinny or tired . This is a fun time to just sit on the floor and be together. I used Candy Land as a way to teach colors, help with counting and taking turns.
8). Children love bathes. Who doesn't like to soak in a warm bubble bath? In the afternoons, when everyone is slowing down and getting crabby, this is when I put some in the bath. They are contained, they're playing and getting clean all at the same time. :). My girls will stay in the for an hour if I let them.
9). Children love hugs. When everyone has been icky all day  ( I throw myself in there too), this is usually the last thing I want to do. But I have found it to be a pretty awesome way to turn my heart around and theirs. It's something you can do all day long if needed.  If your like me, you'll have to go against your feelings to do this, but I promise it'll be worth it.

I hope these help you make it through what ever day your having today. Living Hope FULL :)

Family Togetherness

When my oldest boys were young, 3 and 2 years old, there was a VBS at a local church for 3 year olds and up. I thought it would be fun for Caleb to join in, so I signed him up. The first day of drop off all went well til it was time for Nathan and I to leave. Nathan didn't understand why Caleb was staying and started to cry because he wanted Caleb to be with him. I tried to console Nathan by telling him that we will get Caleb in a few hours and all will be well. Of course he didn't understand. And so, for the whole week, this was our experience. Even though I didn't like to see my son cry, it warmed my heart to know that the boys had a close relationship. They have always been together and did everything together. They're pals, even now at 10 and 9.

During the VBS time, I was sharing with an older women ( a grandmother aged) how Nathan was very sad to not have his brother with him. This woman took me by surprise by her response. She said, " Well, they're just too close then. You need to separate them.  They need their own friends!". I stood there, totally baffled. Really? You want me to severe a close relationship? And then what? Try to force them together again when they're older then wonder why we don't have a close family or close siblings? It made no sense to me.  I think you can tell I didn't agree with this woman's suggestion. 

I write all this to share with you that it's a beautiful thing to have close siblings and family. Don't listen to the world.  I didn't grow up in a healthy, loving family. Mine was broken and abusive. I know what it's like to live alone. I want more for my children. I don't want to severe something the Lord has made only to try and force it back together once they've grown so far apart.When the world is pressuring them and trying to beat them down, I want them to know they have a safe and loving place to come to with safe and loving people. I want to instill Truth in them, love them and teach them how to treat each other. I want to nurture friendships between them so they will have each other when they're grown. I want them to practice forgiveness with each other. Why would I severe that? I wouldn't!

Dear mother, let me encourage you. Build those closer relationships. Don't listen to foolish women. You will met opposition. Opposition for many God obeying steps you take. It's ok. Stand firm in your convictions in the Lord. You will get opposition from those you thought would support and you'll get support from those you thought would oppose. Stand firm in the Lord. Know that what you  are doing is right by your family in the Lord. These children have been given to you to raise, raise them well. Have hope!

Tired is ok.

I have written a lot about being tired. It seems that that is the state that I have been in lately. Just tired. Life can do it to us. The day in and day out of home management and child raising can leave us falling asleep at the lunch table ( guilty!). But you know what sweet mother, I learned something. I learned that tired is ok.  It's ok to not have the energy to get everything done that needs to get done. I learned that it wasn't my children's fault ( the ones that slept the night) that I was tired and they certainly didn't deserve my crabbiness. Once I stated thinking this way, it really helped me. I can get up and say, "OK I know I'm tired, but it's not their fault. They have done nothing wrong. Be kind. I'm a mom. I am going to be tired and it's ok.".  Best part, we are not alone in our tired days. God knows how we are and He is there to help us.

Dear mother, tired is ok. Take a deep breath. Give yourself the permission ( and grace)to be tired and the permission to not get it all done today. Go slow and do the most important things today, loving your children and your husband. Be blessed!

Hope ( and some help) for those tired days

We all have those days don't we. Those tired, emotional days. Maybe you were up all night with a baby or a child that just couldn't sleep. Maybe your having a heavy heart over a situation. Whatever the reason, it can cause the days to be very difficult. We get short, crabby and down right not nice. I get this. I want to share with you a way we can get through those days without becoming "Mount Mama" ( at least not  for the whole day :) ). I know it can be really hard to start a new habit, but with consistency and work, our new habit can become a lifestyle. I got this from a homeschool mom of eight. She struggled with depression and was having a very hard time with her family. She said, " We will be much better off if we pray through these days, rather then allow our emotions to rule our behavior. " Here are her steps..

When tired and/or emotional:
1). Go on auto pilot
2). Do not respond or react
3). Commit to being very quiet. ( super hard for this Italian girl!)
4). pray CONSTANTLY!
5). Get to bed!

For me, this was ( and still is) very hard to put into practice. It makes my tired brain have to think. But when I do, I get to go to bed without regret. Doesn't that sound wonderful? Self restraint is very hard, but it's very rewarding. Do you want to go to bed tonight without regret? Without feeling like your children would be better off with a different mother? I know I do! And guess what? You can.

In the morning, ask the Lord to help you. Ask Him to give you the strength, wisdom and ability to work on these steps. Write them down and put them in a place where you can see them. I have mine on the fridge. If you stumble and fall, ask God for forgiveness ( and maybe the child or hubby too). Then, jump right back in. It'll take practice. One day at a time. Give yourself grace. You can do it! Another way to live hope-FULL :)

From dried up to filled up.

Mothering and Managing a home can be very challenging. We can get dried up and dried out. I know I do! I have noticed that when I am at this point, it's usually because I have run on my own resources. My husband has told me on numerous occasions, that when I spend time with the Lord there is a big difference. And from that difference, comes a different way of running the house and relating to the people in the house. I want to share with you a devotional I came across one day, a VERY dry day...

" We can't walk through the wilderness of this earth on our own resources. They don't last. They run out quickly. What a joy to know that in the heart of our everlasting Father are inexhaustible wells that never run dry.
Our love wanes. We think we have no love left, but there is a well of love that never runs dry.
Our patience dries up quickly. We become frustrated and quick-tempered, but there is a well of long-suffering that is inexhaustible.
Our joy runs out. We become cranky and irritable, but there is a well of joy, a well of victory, and a well of Salvation that is everlasting.
Draw from these wells. Drink them deeply. There is everything you need in the heart of the Father. Isa. 12;3 says, " Therefore with joy shall you draw water form the wells of Salvation.".
There is no excuse to stay dry and empty. Draw from the never-ending wells that are daily available to you."

WOW! What good news. We don't have to stay dried up. In a way, being empty and dry can be a good thing. It leaves us able to be completely filled up with God. The devotional went on to say, " When we are drained, ask Him to flood your mind and heart with His Holy Spirit. It doesn't matter how many times you come to Him to be filled. God's well is inexhaustible and it never runs dry. Keep being filled to the to overflowing so you can  bless your family. If you are only half-filled, you nothing to give to others.".

Are you having a dry day? Run down and depleted?  Are you "half-filled" ?Tired mother, you don't have to stay that way. Acknowledge where you are at and ask God to fill you with His Spirit. Ask Him to come and let His Spirit fall on the children and fill up the whole house.  (I have even done this out loud so the house and my soul can hear it! :)  ).  Then go, love your family and finish your day filled. Be blessed.